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About Deviant Member StarknightFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: violence/gore)
Tonight a door was opened
A door of pain
I realized I had kept hidden
Its been over a year
since last I saw him
in good standing
Tonight the memories flooded
as I met one of his ex's
the heartache rushed over me
and once again
The reality of that time hit me
The door opened
and blood spilled forth
The love I had for him
was beyond this world
and into the next
Sin I had once called him
My dark consort
but alas our love remains
in the shadows.
I sacrificed myself and my love
in order to do the right thing,
to let him go
in order to keep it all a secret
a secret from another woman he loves
In the end
it was toxic to me
and I would have waited for him
except he has already made his choices
and they have all been bad
so he is no longer in my life
for good reason
but everytime I look back
the pain stings
the open door
always brings it all back
I keep it closed for a reason
and in doing so I keep a part of me closed
the person I was back then
is no more

but today I found a new love,
a real love,
one that tells no lies
one that doesn't stop loving me
one that won't abandon me
when needed most.

That open door needs to stay shut
and kept shut
because it does no good
to keep looking back
when It took me a long time
to build my self back up
from the destruction
we had caused.
Well things have certainly been interesting on my end of things. I haven't really done any new art lately. I have done a painting recently that was intended as a gift but so far I have not had too much time to do any art. In a way my inspiration has been gone since going through a bunch of BS since 2012. Either way though things are looking up. 

I met the love of my life at convergence last year and we have been together for almost a year. He plans on proposing to me and we have already got rings picked out. We plan on getting married someday. Out in public we introduce ourselves as each other's fiance however, technically we aren't engaged yet. He wants to do the traditional pop the question kind of thing.

I figured out that I'm not really a polyamorous kind of gal. I am however an open relationship/swinger kind of gal. We had a poly relationship that became toxic and it was it for me. The kind of poly relationships I feel I've been getting into have not be healthy for me and I just felt done looking for what I wanted so no polyamory here.

I am working on getting a better paying job and have moved out of my parents house. There's been a lot of issues with me financially but I am hoping to file for bankruptcy in the next month or so and hopefully will help me get a fresh start and clean slate. The lawyer told me that even with a bankruptcy on my record for 10 years I might end up with a better credit score someday.

I've slowly overcame the abuse that happened last year as well. I have also started processing my parents emotional/mental abuse as well. 

Things are in the tank financially but everything else in my life is starting to go well. I am gaining more confidence as well as been finding my inner warrior sort to speak. It's getting to the point where I'm starting to feel more dominant and strong as a person. Soon I hope to dominate all aspects of my life so I can have a successful marriage financially wise someday with the love of my life. His family is already accepted me as part of the family. It's awesome. 
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Silence
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: my computer screen
  • Playing: WOW
  • Eating: Cookies
  • Drinking: wishing it was strawberry dacari's

deviantID

PhotoChick180
Starknight
United States
I make home made-made to order Hemp Jewelry. Also I love to draw, take photographs, and have a lot of hobbies.

Current Residence: In the wildnersess crossings in the mind
Favourite genre of music: Rock
Favourite photographer: Zemotion
Favourite style of art: Anything
MP3 player of choice: IPod Definately
Favourite cartoon character: Garfield, Simpsons, Mickey mouse
Personal Quote: what good is freedom if it doesnt include the freedom to make mistakes - Ghandi
Interests

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:iconunipegus:
unipegus Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
hai kitteh
Reply
:iconphotochick180:
PhotoChick180 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2010
Hi stitch!
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:iconsajjad68:
sajjad68 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2009
owh thanks dear for :+devwatch: ;) :hug: :glomp:
Reply
:iconphotochick180:
PhotoChick180 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2009
And thank you for the watch too !! have a great one!
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:iconsajjad68:
sajjad68 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2009
your welcome dear ;) :hug:
Reply
:iconkaranua:
karanua Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: :)
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:iconn-hallows:
N-Hallows Featured By Owner May 10, 2008
Thank you. I will check your writing out too. NH
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:iconphotochick180:
PhotoChick180 Featured By Owner May 10, 2008
Thanks :)
Reply
:icongutter17:
Gutter17 Featured By Owner May 7, 2008
thank you :) you do as well.
Reply
:iconphotochick180:
PhotoChick180 Featured By Owner May 8, 2008
thanks :)
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